P.S. I miss you…
Some of the most inspiring times of my life happen in the most uninspiring of places. Take today’s setting:
With our CA move disaster nightmare settled and our anticipated move to a new home, Joe and I took today to go through all of our old boxes.
For me, going through old stuff is something that I dread more than getting my blood taken. Joe tried to make the experience a little more enjoyable by offering me a chair and a some targeted tasks so it didn’t seem so overwhelming. I was finally getting into the purging mindset when Joe came across an old folder of mine filled with letters and cards.
The folder was completely wrinkled, faded and flattened. The only way that Joe even knew it belonged to me is by the faint writing of “ria” in what appeared to once say, “Maria’s”. It smelled of old mold probably from all the water damage as he passed it over to me for review. I carefully peeled open the folder only to find faded cards and letters mostly stuck together. From the water, blobs of ink bled through onto cards to create a transparency effect where one card included writing of the other.
I quickly looked at the pile and I knew that everything in it was going to be trash. I’m not sure if it was the presence of Joe or just how I was feeling at the time; however, something made me want to go through everything “just in case.”
I picked at the hunk of glued together stationary to find a piece of paper from my college days with a couple of illegible to do lists and I wondered why I was even bothering? More importantly, why did I save any of this stuff in the first place?
I was just about to chuck it when something came over me and told me to keep on going. It wasn’t a large stack and my hands were already covered in grime anyways so why not? I peeled another layer back to find a birthday card from an old friend and then another to find a card which had a familiar look to me. Each year for my birthday, my aunt would make me a card on her computer from her and one from my grandmother (The same grandmother who recently passed).
I could make out the faded font and the larger size card to identify that this had to be from either one of them. I was able to tear the card off the pile but unfortunately in the process, the front of the card tore open. When I looked down, I saw the inside of the card and I have no idea what the printed words said as they had all erased. I could only read the words that were added by a certain someone in pen. Right away when I looked down, I recognized my grandma’s writing.
In true grandma fashion, she had signed the card “Love Maria” instead of Love Gram, which made me smile. Then I looked to the bottom of the card and it read, “P.S. I miss you!” At that point, I lost it. I could have filled a small baby pool with tears. Poor Joe had no idea what was going on and he came over and said, “Listen if you don’t want to do boxes today, it’s okay.”
I pointed down to the card and he totally got it. Sometimes people who have gone before us have a way of communicating what we need at the time we need it. I really needed this today…more than I knew. So Gram if you are listening, THANK YOU and P.S.- I miss you too, more than you would ever know! Love Gram ;p